Ahh the explanations to why there is so much corruption and oppressive law enactment in the Keys. No fucking sense of humor at all. I hope Dixie Speher enjoys what remaining time she has in office. No one with such a lack of humor should be in ANY kind of position of authority in the Keys. Remember this behavior come election time kids. This is the original piece published on the SATIRE page of the fish rag. Click the link to read it in all his hysterical, and I use that word for all its subtle nuances, glory. Then follow our hard working politicians and they doggedly try to find out who pulled the wool over their eyes. Ho ho ho.. I will be tittering about this for days..
County goes dry Sunday, as Keys pass alcohol ban
Residents of the Florida Keys are up in arms as the county prepares to enact a ban on the purchase, sale, transport and consumption of alcoholic beverages south of the Dade County line. The new law, which went largely unnoticed as a line item in a recent affordable housing bill, was unanimously passed by the County Commission leaving bar owners, liquor stores and many Keys residents pondering the future of their community.
"All alcohol is considered a contraband material under the new law," explained Sheriff Richard D. Roth. "Section III, paragraph five of the bill outlines penalties for violations and we are adopting a zero tolerance policy. People need to become familiar with the new law or suffer the consequences. As of April 1, 2007 anyone in possession of alcohol is considered a criminal in the eyes of the law."
Sarcastic column gets boos
Paradise This Week columnist David Sloan, whose Key West 101 column appears with the label "The Satire Page," wrote of a new law in Monroe County banning "the purchase, sale, transport and consumption of alcoholic beverages south of the Dade County line," beginning on Sunday, April 1.
He suggested Sloppy Joe's bar was to become a clubhouse for Alcoholics Anonymous and that Capt. Tony Tarracino was in negotiations for a go-fast boat and returning to the world of rum-running.
County Commissioner Dixie Spehar did not view the satirical column as a joke, and Thursday morning directed her assistant, Les Boatwright, to call the Key West city attorney and Sheriff's Office, saying "the commission didn't vote on that."
The sheriff's aide, Val Marinello, had received more than 25 calls about the supposed law by 11 a.m. Thursday. "It was a great April Fools' article," she said. |
clipped from www.keysnews.com
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