Happy April Fools! Except if you are a Commissioner.

Ahh the explanations to why there is so much corruption and oppressive law enactment in the Keys. No fucking sense of humor at all. I hope Dixie Speher enjoys what remaining time she has in office. No one with such a lack of humor should be in ANY kind of position of authority in the Keys. Remember this behavior come election time kids. This is the original piece published on the SATIRE page of the fish rag. Click the link to read it in all his hysterical, and I use that word for all its subtle nuances, glory. Then follow our hard working politicians and they doggedly try to find out who pulled the wool over their eyes. Ho ho ho.. I will be tittering about this for days..

clipped from www.keysnews.com

County goes dry Sunday, as Keys pass alcohol ban

Residents of the Florida Keys are up in arms as the county prepares to enact a ban on the purchase, sale, transport and consumption of alcoholic beverages south of the Dade County line. The new law, which went largely unnoticed as a line item in a recent affordable housing bill, was unanimously passed by the County Commission leaving bar owners, liquor stores and many Keys residents pondering the future of their community.

"All alcohol is considered a contraband material under the new law," explained Sheriff Richard D. Roth. "Section III, paragraph five of the bill outlines penalties for violations and we are adopting a zero tolerance policy. People need to become familiar with the new law or suffer the consequences. As of April 1, 2007 anyone in possession of alcohol is considered a criminal in the eyes of the law."

clipped from www.keysnews.com Sarcastic column gets boos Paradise This Week columnist David Sloan, whose Key West 101 column appears with the label "The Satire Page," wrote of a new law in Monroe County banning "the purchase, sale, transport and consumption of alcoholic beverages south of the Dade County line," beginning on Sunday, April 1. He suggested Sloppy Joe's bar was to become a clubhouse for Alcoholics Anonymous and that Capt. Tony Tarracino was in negotiations for a go-fast boat and returning to the world of rum-running. County Commissioner Dixie Spehar did not view the satirical column as a joke, and Thursday morning directed her assistant, Les Boatwright, to call the Key West city attorney and Sheriff's Office, saying "the commission didn't vote on that." The sheriff's aide, Val Marinello, had received more than 25 calls about the supposed law by 11 a.m. Thursday. "It was a great April Fools' article," she said.

The Last But 1, Little Piece Of Old Key West Cya!

clipped from www.answers.com Key Hospitality Acquisition (OTC: KHPA) Contact Information Key Hospitality Acquisition 4 Becker Farm Road Roseland, NJ 07068 UNITED STATES Tel. (973) 992-3707 Industry: Nonequity Investment Instruments Blank check company whose objective is to acquire.

clipped from www.cayclubs.com

The above 2 corporations are awaiting your thanks for their heartfelt job of saving the Key West harbour, basically the Turtle Kraals/Half Shell waterfront. Since the existing buildings have stone carved-ish leases that prevent them from being turned into condos, naturally these companies are merely taking over this beautiful area, out of the goodness of their hearts.

The Fat, bloated by greed city commissioners have given away possibly the last little bit left of Old Town Key West. Gone. Ta Ta, Bye bye. These people, voted in mind you, have no souls. They are evil and selfish incarnated and need to be removed.

At some time down the road when ALL has been said and done, the locals will have made their chirping noises. otherwise known as complaints, the Big Corporations will have wrung their hands when Turtle Kraals has a strange unexplainable fire, and low and behold we will all wake up with a 3 storey concrete bunker stretching along the waterfront.

To paraphrase Georgette Green in the fishwrapper, The new brochures may proudly read

"The Key West Harbor Cay Club; a condo-hotel and marina with historic restaurants."

Nauseating.

Don't say I never warned you. If you want to be truly afraid, click on the Cay Clubs link and look at who is on their list of Affiliated Companies. Same names, same hellish faces. Read it and weep.

A Nice Concise Letter

A very eloquent letter to the fish wrapper from George Halloran.

clipped from www.keysnews.com The mayor is right: Fire the city manager A recent "Today in Keys History" column stated Key West's waste-to-energy plant opened in 1987 and "was unsuccessful and later closed." Your writer may be confused with a '70s attempt by the city to compost its garbage, which was a failure. The Montenay plant referenced was successful from the start, producing 12 percent of the city's electricity for 18 years by burning our garbage in a safe and legal manner. In 1983, under state and federal orders to close its landfill, the city avoided huge fines by building the Montenay plant. It was still producing electricity when it was shut down two years ago. The problem was not its efficiency, but the complaints of condo owners who had built new homes near the plant. Their attorney, Jim Hendrick, threatened lawsuits, and convinced the City Commission to close the plant rather than refit it, despite a $100,000 study that showed rebuilding the facility was the most economical path.

Well one thing is certain, Jim Hendrick will not be writing any threatening letter to any one. Well he may, but they will have a prison return address, kinda takes the edge off.

FEMA Still Useless

Great, so people have to be out regardless of whether they have anywhere to go or not.

clipped from www.keynoter.com FEMA deadline looms The last 79 Keys families living in travel trailers provided by the Federal Emergency Management Agency have less than a month to make other arrangements. But remodeling after the storm has taken a lot longer than some people hoped, and Homstad says FEMA has a program in which occupants can purchase their trailers.

Hurricane Season is Fast Approaching

We were, here in Key West, and the rest of Florida very lucky last year. A fluke perhaps.

Trust the bloody British to muck it all up.

clipped from www.reuters.com Forecaster sees active Atlantic hurricane season London-based forecaster Tropical Storm Risk on Tuesday said the six-month season, which begins on June 1, was expected to bring 17 tropical storms, of which nine will strengthen into hurricanes with winds of at least 74 miles per hour. The United States emerged unscathed from the 2006 season after it spawned a below-average nine storms, of which five became hurricanes. Experts had universally -- and erroneously -- predicted 2006 would be a busy year for Atlantic storms. But TSR said current and projected climate signals indicate that Atlantic basin and U.S. landfalling hurricane activity will be 75 percent above the 1950-2006 average in 2007.

Tattoo Parlour Set To Open on Duval.

I just got a message on myspace, from someone I don't know. The message was letting know that a new tattoo shop is opening on Duval Street.

Bloody hell whatever next ;)

Tattoo shop owners challenge Key West ban
Keysnews.com

BY MANDY BOLEN
Citizen Staff KEY WEST —

The owners of a would-be tattoo shop on Duval Street filed a lawsuit last week against the city of Key West, calling the city's ban on tattoo parlors unconstitutional. Jim McAlhany, who is opening Key West Ink in the 700 block of Duval Street, said he has been working to have the city's ban overturned since October. "We're going to see what the judge says, but Key West is the last city in Florida to prohibit tattooing," McAlhany said on Friday. "I think the city has 20 days to respond." The lawsuit, filed Wednesday, states that "a complete ban on the artistic expression of tattooing is unconstitutional and violates the First Amendment ..." Attorney Wayne Larue Smith argues that the Key West City Commission, in a public meeting on July 18, 2006, acknowledged that tattooing is a form of expression protected by the First Amendment and stated that the ban does not serve a compelling government interest. The lawsuit acknowledges that the initial ban, enacted in 1966, may have been intended to protect the health and safety of Navy personnel and the general public. "However, the state of Florida already requires medical precautions be taken before a tattoo artist may apply his art on another person," the lawsuit states. "Those procedures are widely accepted and effective. Therefore, a complete ban on tattooing is excessive, arbitrary and is no longer reasonably related to meet its intended purpose." City Commissioner Bill Verge said on Friday that he had heard the lawsuit had been filed and said that in his opinion, the city is unlikely to prevail in maintaining its ban on the tattoo parlors. Verge has been polling his constituents about their opinions on tattoo parlors for the past several months and said an overwhelming majority are opposed to tattoo parlors on Duval Street. "I think the city's going to have to make some provisions, but if it comes to a commission vote, I'll have to vote based on my constituency," Verge said. "They put me there to pull the lever for them." City Attorney Shawn Smith could not be reached for immediate comment late Friday. mbolen@keysnews.com

So anyway, this I find fascinating.. they have allowed the Israelis to sell their insanely offensive t shirts for years, but banned legitimate business's from opening.

All thats left now, is to lift the ban on alcohol sales before 12 noon on Sundays and we will almost be the tourist trap nightmare we are trying desperately to be! Woooot!

Her is the link to the website.

Key West Ink

I know where I'm getting my next one done. Check out the pix of the new shop, not quite sure why Inga is there, girlfriend ain't got no ink that I've noticed ;)

MCSO Busts Cock Ring.

Whoulda thunk it?

Rockland Key man arrested for cock fighting

Rockland Key - An anonymous phone call led to the arrest of a Rockland Key man Friday night on charges of cock fighting and animal cruelty.

One hundred sixty eight birds were found on property located at 571 Beach Drive on Rockland Key, which belongs to the suspect 67 year old Lorenzo Miralles. The SPCA removed 80 of the birds immediately where were the most seriously injured or those who were prepped for fighting. The rest will be removed today.

arrived, but they were able to stop and identify 23 people. All but two of them were from the lower Keys. The other two were from Cape Coral, Florida and Hialeah, Florida. Miralles came forward and admitted to being the property owner. He agreed to a search of his property and denied being involved in cock fighting.

A search of the property revealed an octagonal arena, where the fights most likely took place. They also found a large amount of medical equipment, including suture kits, antibiotics, alcohol, hydrogen peroxide and betadine solution. Approximately 60 spurs were found of numerous sizes along with spur covers which appeared to be stained with blood. A book that appeared to be a betting ledger was also found.

A number of the birds had been prepped for fighting. They had been shaved on the back, the underside and many had the combs on their heads cut off. One was bleeding from the remains of a comb which appeared to have just been removed or had been injured in some other way. A number of the chickens were injured; some had open wounds, some had missing eyes and some had scabbing and scars.

Miralles was arrested and charged with violation of the animal fighting act (Florida Statute 328.122) and with animal cruelty. Both charges are third degree felony charges. He was booked into the Monroe County Detention Center.

and here are about five thousand cages etc, and additional pics of the raid. Pix Gallery

Anna Nicole Smith Judge Popped for Dope

Hahaha, like you thought the soap opera was over. Nooo it is just in commercial.

Posted Mar 19th 2007 4:30PM by TMZ Staff
Filed under: Celebrity Justice, Anna Nicole Smith
Judge KordaA judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case has been busted!

TMZ has learned Hollywood, Florida Judge Lawrence Korda, who heard evidence on the DNA paternity test, was busted on charges of possessing marijuana.

We're told Judge Korda was at Stanley Goldman Park in Hollywood, Florida at 2:00 PM yesterday. Two officers smelled marijuana in the air, which led them to Judge Korda sitting on a bench, allegedly smoking weed.

Judge Korda was given a notice to appear in court.

The offense is punishable by a maximum of 60 days in jail and a $500 fine.

Naturally, this being Florida he will most likely get A. Death Penalty or B. Get appointed to the Supreme Court.

News From The CessPool/Miami

I love reading about the Cuban migrants in Miami getting all hot and bothered. They are nauseating in their ignorance and quite scary in their power. This is just beautiful though.

Mitt’s Commie phrase sparks rage
By Dave Wedge
Boston Herald Chief Enterprise Reporter
Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Cubans in Miami are steaming mad at former Gov. Mitt Romney for shooting his mouth off in stumbling Spanish, mispronouncing names and erroneously associating a notorious Fidel Castro-spewed Communist catch phrase with freedom fighters.
Politicians in South Florida have lashed out at the former Massachusetts governor and 2008 presidential hopeful for describing the socialist saying “Patria o muerte, venceremos” as “inspiring” and for claimingthe phrase was swiped from liberty-seeking Cubans by leftist admirers of Castro.

The phrase, which means “Fatherland or death, we shall overcome,” was bellowed as a political speech sign-off by the dictator for decades. At another point in the speech to the Miami-Dade Republican Party, Romney bungled the names of prominent Cuban GOP politicians, referring to Florida House Speaker Marco Rubio as “Mario.”

Romney also garnered criticism for his hard-line stance on immigration and ending the talk with the phrase “Libertad, Libertad, Libertad,” a revolutionary saying made famous in the gangster movie “Scarface,” which many Cubans feel plays on cultural stereotypes.

But it was the former Bay State governor’s use of an infamous Fidel Castro line that sparked the most controversy. “Hugo Chavez has tried to steal an inspiring phrase - Patria o muerte, venceremos,” Romney said. “It does not belong to him. It belongs to a free Cuba.” But scholars and prominent Cubans contend the saying has always been a Communist rallying cry and that it represents the very essence of Fidel Castro’s oppressive regime.

It really is quite pointless to bring anyone to speak in Miami if they are not Cuban. No matter what they say, right or wrong, they will be heckled by these people.

“It means communism. It means Fidel Castro,” said Florida state Rep. Rene Garcia, a Republican who was at the March 9 speech. “It’s a Communist catch phrase.”

Romney spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom said of the flap: “The point is, the phrase belongs to liberators, not oppressors. It doesn’t belong to Fidel Castro. It doesn’t belong to Hugo Chavez. It belongs to a free Cuba.”

But Garcia said Romney was “ill-advised” to mention the saying at all, especially speaking in Miami, the epicenter of the Cuban-American struggle.
“When you come into our community, you should be a little better-prepared,” Garcia said, adding that the incident “left a negative taste with local officials.”

Ana Navarro, a Miami-based former United Nations Ambassador who was at the event, called the quote “a mistake” by “an empty suit.” “It’s a Fidel Castro phrase. I’ve never heard it from anyone other than Fidel Castro or members of his government,” Navarro said.

Sandra Levinson, executive director of the Center for Cuban Studies in New York City, said the Castro quote “was never a cry of the old Cuba” and was coined by Castro and his supporters.

While acknowledging that Romney had only “best intentions” with his remarks, Levinson said he needs “someone knowledgeable” to advise him on Cuban affairs.

Whatever you do, never mention Castro's name in Miami unless you include the phrase "kill him" or some such nonsense. A Viva Freedom.

Water Restrictions? Not In My House!

This is an perfect example of the little person getting shit on again. This time we are going to be fined whilst watering our yards or rinsing off our boats unless this is done at specified times.

On my way in to work this morning, struggling as I do through the sinkhole filled bike 'path', I happened to glance across N Roosevelt at the hideous nightmare that is Fairfield condos, or hotel or whatever the hell anyone would call such an eyesore. They appear to have 20 + fountains happily evaporating away, without a care in the world. Water shortage? Pah! We OWN this town!

I intend to spend this week photographing and filming, with time and date stamps, ALL the corrupt fucks properties that are wasting thousands of gallons of water, while I will be fined for chucking a bucket on my boat.

This little person has just about had enough.

clipped from www.keynoter.com Drought forces water restrictions Already among the most conservative water users in the state, Florida Keys residents must cut back even more. Mandatory restrictions on water use, caused by a year-long drought, go into effect Thursday for all South Florida, including Monroe County. County and municipal code-enforcement officers are empowered to write citations for violations. The FKAA focuses on conservation education, Reynolds said.

Another Bloody Study

Wow, more fat cats being paid to sit on their fat asses and think about donuts for a couple of years. Don't hold your breath for this 'study' to proffer up any results, any time soon.

clipped from www.keysnews.com The city has not conducted a survey on the need for affordable housing in 10 years and the information is not complete, Clayton said. At that time, there was a need for between 3,000 to 7,000 homes for workers, he said. KEY WEST — The city plans to step up efforts to enforce restrictions placed on houses and condominiums that were built under affordable housing guidelines. City commissioners declared an affordable housing crisis shortly after the new commission took office in the fall of 2005. The commission has made creating and maintaining affordable housing the top priority in the city.

More Housing Rants

A few weeks ago, Regina printed this column in the Key West Citizen concerning affordable housing.
http://www.keysnews.com/313978296565846.bsp.htm
Today, a local woman unloaded on Regina in the Letters to the Editor:
http://www.keysnews.com/letterstoeditor.bsp.htm

Housing column was not based in reality
The "re-evaluation of affordable housing" provided in Ms. [Regina] Corcoran's column on March 4 absolutely made my blood boil.

Her reckless disregard for the plight of firefighters, law enforcement personnel and teachers in obtaining affordable housing is unpardonable. To blatantly state affordable housing actually serves as an endorsement and encouragement of irresponsible behavior, and categorizing those who "can't pay" as those who "won't pay," is unpardonable. Get real. A "Walt Disney" staff? That same newspaper listed 200-plus jobs — in the private sector alone. Who's going to do all the work?

Ms. Corcoran used a lot of numbers to come up with an average sales price of $377,500 for a home. She stated a buyer could qualify with a monthly income of $7,200 — then said she "heard" a single teacher "could" make $65,000. There were over 300 properties for sale in that same paper. I won't even try to calculate the average price, but the national average home loan to income ratio is 28 percent (FHA won't go over 29 percent). This includes all costs associated with the house (taxes and insurance). Ms. Corcoran's monthly payment of $2,885 (100 percent financing, no less — did this include mortgage insurance?) would necessitate a monthly income of at least $10,000.

She is basing her numbers on two-income families, and suggests taking in a boarder? This is the American dream? According to the U.S. Census Bureau, one out of two children will live in a single-parent family before the age of 18. In 2002, a full 28 percent of homes in the U.S. were single-parent homes. This is the American reality. The median salary for a teacher in Monroe County (Florida Department of Education) in 2002-2003 was $38,972 with a bachelor's degree, and $42,648 with a master's. This is a local reality.

Finally, it would be really nice to be able to afford to spend $40 bucks a day on lunch. I'm assuming Ms. Corcoran didn't stiff her waitress when she left a $6 tip. Her calculations of this poor server's income — $8 per table times 10 tables equals $480 per week means she has her working six days a week. (Was this what you meant by saying potential buyers need stable employment and the maturity to "show up for work most of the time"?) Even at that — $480 times 52 is less than $25,000 a year (not $26,840). Add in a meager hourly wage? Team up with another person? That will get you qualified?

I think [her] comments are self-serving, self-centered and mean. I think [her] primary concern is to keep those real estate sales commissions rolling in, not to mention monies earned by giving poor advice to potential mortgagors.

Marcia Studley, Key West

Me, in a good mood ;)

I read both the original Corocan article and the letter rebutting it. I think it shows clearly the divide between the haves, and the don't have quite as muchs. The haves are in turn split into two groups I think. There are those like Ms Corocan who are simply oblivious to the realities of life and live in the bubble of the Key West fantasy. They insist that this is a paradise where you should be proud to spend $1 million plus on an 800 sq ft 'conch' home. The people who do not live in such splendor are here merely to do your bidding for minimum wage and are happy to serve you.

The other haves, are the ones responsible for building this fake paradise. The people who see no problems with turning people out of long owned homes, or removing small local owned hotels and turning then into the aforementioned 'palaces'. Each is totally convinced that they are doing nothing wrong, and that as business people in a free market they should be allowed to continue this destruction. Fortunately the bubble is indeed bursting and hopefully they will all end up in the pastel colored shoebox hell that they have spent so long trying to put everyone else in.

More Crap In The Water

Its been 5 weeks now since the 'beach' at Higgs began registering poor on the shit scale. Naturally this fabulous news has been safely hidden away in the back of a mostly unread local rag, or ignored altogether.

I feel it is my duty to inform. So here's the newsflash! Don't swim in the waters off Higgs 'beach'. It has been found to contain unacceptable levels of enterococci bacteria. Yes that is as gross and smelly as it sounds. You will acquire a nasty staf infection to take home, as a lovely souvenir.

Personally I wouldn't even stop anywhere close to Higgs. The Bum Mafia pretty much runs the joint and the constant drunken screaming emanating from their stinking, toothless maws, should be enough to warn all but the stupidest of tourists, to stay the fuck away. The cute painted cabana type things are usually covered in a variety of bum scum. Everything from blood covered broken Majorska bottles to, well blood covered bums.
Avoid this place like the plague you are very likely to contract from it.

In other news, I posted this on Craigs, but here 'tis for you.

Oh this is beautiful. The 'Affordable' housing czar for Monroe County, Jerry Coleman, is quitting because he cannot live on the $250 PER HOUR the job pays him. The county has agreed to renegotiate his contract with a "fair, but not outrageous fee". I'm sorry but paying someone $100 per hour to sit on his ass and tell local retar.. politicians that the county needs affordable housing, is too much. I can tell them for free!

HEY! ASSHOLES, we need about 15,000 affordable RENTAL units. NOW.

There, hows that.

Something of a Non Event.

Wooo its highly amusing to read this report. Really? Not enough breakers to fill drunk court. Well if the island didn't smell like shit and charge $400 an night for a poky hotel room, perhaps a few more might have come, instead of heading once again to lovely free and easy (and dirt cheap) Cancun. The same news was printed last year and the year before, although fortunately the city had an excuse for no springbreak back then. I believe she was called 'Wilma'.

clipped from www.keysnews.com Spring Break Court canceled BY TRACI RORK Citizen Staff KEY WEST — Lacking a docket of the usual suspects — hungover college students who have distinguished themselves in ways they'd rather not remember — Key West's Spring Break Court has been canceled. It appears those who crowd the beaches and frequent Old Town bars this year are doing so in a more constrained fashion and in fewer numbers, say police and prosecutors. Spring Break Court, which adjourned early last year as well, began March 5, but County Judge Peary Fowler called it off after four days passed without a single case. The court was designed to give out-of-town spring breakers the opportunity to plead "no contest" to minor alcohol-related offenses. It allowed them the option of spending eight hours picking up litter on Key West streets and beaches instead of facing legal fees and a criminal record.

First and Last Visit To KW

From craigslist.. this kind of sums it up I think...

First Time Visitor's take on KW

Date: 2007-03-06, 5:46PM EST


I visited Key West for the first time over the past weekend. I'm sorry to say it will be my only visit. The island is just too small for soooooo many people. There were so many beautiful old homes and buildings but then there were also so many dilapidated houses and trashy yards - all mixed together. All the tropical flowers and lush flowering trees in old town were enchanting but then a stench of urine or rotten fish seemed to intrude every block or so. There are stray cats everywhere and just about every other property has a for sale sign in front of it. Is everybody bailing out? I have never seen so many morbidly obese, hairy, gray, staggering old drunks in my life. And what is it with all these bloated pigs on Harleys? The noise from all those superloud motorcycles is totally out of control! The taxi cabs all stunk and were filthy. The Airport is a mess - maybe they could spend a little money on some chairs? Why in the world couldn't they have at least one porta potty on the tarmac past security for departing passengers? My flight to Miami got delayed and of course they don't allow you to take water through security so I drank it all - then the line back into security was unbelievable. Am I supposed to either pass out from dehydration, piss my pants or miss my flight?
WTF? The clothing store that I shopped at on Duval -called Graffitti - wouldn't even allow me to return a shirt the following day after I bought it - "All Sales Final" it says in microprint on your receipt - After you pay for the item! Key West may be for you if you want to get someplace by car and walk the streets drunk with your "Go Cup" but it's definitely not for me. Some of the antique stores were nice and the weather was plenty warm and some of the architecture was beautiful but for the money....I'd pass. The best part: Seven Fish - a restaurant at Olivia and Elizabeth..the worst part: way, way too many people...ugly, fat, loud...okay Typical American people.

To be fair, here is a locals rebuff, kinda.

Date: 2007-03-06, 7:06PM EST
As a resident I can agree with you on many points. But how can you not have a good time based on "ugly fat" people? That's pretty shallow and not the way that people with substance think. Post a picture of yourself so we can judge for ourselves what we think about you.

Yeah 'Cos We Don't Have Enough Real Tourists...

Give me a bloody break. I like art, I like a lot of art. My preference is for pictures of 20 something guys playing pool naked, but thats really unimportant. Apparently the Southernmost City feels it does not have enough tacky decorations scattered randomly about the place, so, in its infinite wisdom, has decided to 'rent' some lovely and truly tasteful statues to dump next to the Buoy. Greeeeat.

Mar 7, 2007 5:27 pm US/Eastern
Key's Southernmost Point Gets Some 'New Friends'

(CBS4) Key West, FL Some "New Friends" have arrived at the Southernmost Point in Key West.

"New Friends" is a multicultural sculpture in bronze by acclaimed artist J. Seward Johnson. It was installed Wednesday in front of the Southernmost Point Marker.

The artwork depicts four adults and three children, dressed in casual clothes typically worn by Florida Keys visitors, grouped around the Southernmost Point as though posing for a photograph.

“Two figures have their arms extended for living visitors to nestle into,” said Johnson, “Both are looking at the people, who are nestling, welcoming them into the picture."

"New Friends" is on loan to the city from Johnson. The sculptures will remain at the Southernmost Point for the next 2 months, but may become a permanent if approved later by the Key West City Commission.

Pretty nice eh? I googled 'acclaimed artist', J Seward Johnson, and found that he is famous for making bronze life sized castings and then painting them to look real. You may have seen them in your town. Weird guy sitting on the bench staring at you, no matter how much you yell at him, he just keeps on staring with those cold dead eyes? Yeah well now you know. Don't kick him. Oh and here is Mr Johnson with one of his 'friends'.

Sculpture?

There are no nice beaches in Key West, contrary to popular opinion. This opinion is wildy cultivated by all the developers who are desperate to sell their 800 sq ft, $1 million plus 'condos'.

Instead of the postcard perfect white sand and turquoise waters, there are lumpy stretches of smelly seaweed covered coral that lead down to the tepid, fecal matter filled ocean.

Given this fact and that said nasty 'beaches' are invariably covered in fat greasy tourists, or similarly greasy spring breakers (currently), locals have to be very creative when it comes to finding a spot to chill, tan and drink. The last bit of secluded shore was recently snapped up by yet another developer and fenced off from us mere locals, so I have resorted (no pun intended) to sneaking down an access road to the Coast Guard base where there is a small but usable patch of rock to sit on, and pleasantly weed-free water.

I am not the only one. The last 2 weekends I have been at 'my' spot, I have noticed some strange building work going on. Not remotely unusual here, but this is quite odd and, kinda cool.

A Manatee Came to Visit Today